On a good note, some new people have moved into my place. Yay! I am not the only one there now. Although, sometimes it will seem that way, as I work and the other two are students. When I wake up, they are still asleep. When I go to bed, they are still out on the town. To illustrate, Bob has moved into Kasia's old room. I didn't see him for a whole week!
I met the other new person yesterday. She had just had a shower and was wearing only a towel! And, she has a fashion model face and body! (I sent a text message to Moise, just to make him jealous). Her name is Rachel and she is from St. Martin, an island in the Caribbean.
posted by James 6:31 pm
Rationally, Paul probably isn't acting the way he does just to make me feel bad. It wouldn't make sense! Why would he be intentionally upsetting me? It's all in my mind.
Someone may have the best intentions at heart, but intentions are invisible to everyone else. You can't see the underlying thought/intention behind someone's actions. Both of us could learn something from that insight. If Paul wants to prevent misunderstanding (and, upset me less) then he should make his intentions more transparent. He can't assume that I will always interpret his actions as being based on good intentions. Even with a positive perspective like that, there is only so much direct criticism you can take, before it gets to you. As for me, I could be better off by not being so quick to assume what his intentions are.
Something else which is relevant is some advice that I received from Daniel. Paraphrased, it is that the aspects of a culture can only be judged good or bad in terms of how well they help one achieve a certain goal. I would add that the environmental context is also important. So, here, Paul's management style maybe perfectly appropriate for achieving business goals, in the Dutch business context. Maybe his style grates with me because I don't understand the goals or the underlying environmental factors well enough.
My job has quickly become the most challenging part of my traineeship. The work is not difficult, but striking a good relationship with my boss is. On the bright side, it looks like a good opportunity to try different working methods and adopt different perspectives of thinking. Things are at a low, and hopefully will just get better from here.
posted by James 6:22 pm
Yesterday, there was a problem with the fax machine at the office. It could send faxes, yet not receive them. The fax machine was fixed early this afternoon.
He could not resist it. A few moments ago, Paul came over to my desk to tell me that the problem with the fax was caused by an error with the wiring downstairs – something that would have been discovered earlier had I made a phone call yesterday morning. So, it seems that the lost time with the fax was my fault. It is so typical of him to say this.
I have such a negative attitude towards him now. My automatic reaction is to make the "bad" interpretation of everything he does. For instance, with what just happened, it feels like he told me just to prove that he was right, and that I had done something wrong. It's difficult to get past that frame of mind.
posted by James 3:18 pm
On Monday night, Paul and I went through a mid-traineeship evaluation of sorts. He asked me, generally, how I felt about the type of work I was doing and my work colleagues.
I think that the work I do here is fine. It is typical consulting firm work. I like how I have been helping to write business plans, and creating financial spreadsheets has been an interesting task. I feel that I have got on with my work colleagues, but probably more so with Levon and Gerard as they were in the office more often.
Paul talked about the areas where I need to improve. This went on for a while. I expected this. His main points were that I need to use more initiative, be more "service-minded" and interact more with my colleagues. These are good points, and all relevant for working at a consulting firm.
What gives me a headache is how Paul's management style makes these things difficult to achieve. I see so much contradiction. He wants me to use my initiative, yet also expects me to run almost everything past him first. My default instinct has been conservative – only do those things which he tells me to do. He also said that I was too distant from my colleagues at work, yet he didn't seem to like how I got on so well with Gerard. Too much fun in the office, and not enough work, maybe?
At one point, he told me that one of my weaknesses was "accounting". My gosh! That really made me fume, and it was palpable. He seemed upset with my reaction. There was a misunderstanding with what he meant by “accounting”. (He was talking about the rules relating to financial statement presentation). Nevertheless, I was so angry at the time.
I am easily offended if someone insults my intelligence. If someone questions my looks, popularity, or even my sexuality, then I don’t think it would bother me as much.
There are also so many double standards. He always seems to be telling me that I’m doing something wrong, yet he has the attitude that he is always right. He is so stubborn with this. If anything goes wrong in the office, it is almost like he is trying to find some way to blame me. He cannot accept the possibility that, maybe, he contributed to it. He speaks directly (which is fine with me), but he doesn’t like it when people speak that way to him.
I usually have an excellent run if I am angry. It seems to release an extra reserve of energy within me. That night, I did my “1-hour” run, and absolutely smashed the record. My time was 55 minutes, a good five minutes better than the previous best. And, almost 15 minutes faster than the last time that I had done that run. I must have been really annoyed!
posted by James 2:44 pm
I woke up at 6am on Saturday morning – very early for the weekend! I wanted to be sure of catching the first train, at 7:09am, from Tilburg to Amsterdam.
I spent the day with Anita, one of my friends that I know through AIESEC Auckland. She has just finished her AIESEC traineeship in Slovakia. Now, she is travelling around various European countries with another friend who has also completed her traineeship.
The plan was to meet at the Central Station and look for an Irish bar to watch the rugby game between New Zealand and Australia. This plan fell to pieces. Due to delays by both of us, and a confusing tram system, we didn’t meet until close to 10:30am! We had to coordinate our meeting with the exchange of text messages.
I met Anita at the aptly named “Meeting Point” sign at the station. It was great to see another of my friends from New Zealand. We hugged each other, and launched into enthusiastic chat about what had happened that morning, her trip and traineeships.
We knew we had missed the rugby, so we found a place to sit down and do some cursory planning for the rest of the day. The steps outside the Royal Palace (in the Dam Square) are good for this. I have never been inside this building, but I have sat on its steps many times. Just having a rest, people watching or planning my next steps.
We walked through the Civic Guard gallery, along the side of the Amsterdam Historical Museum. The gallery is free and it shows some huge paintings of groups of guards. The average painting was 3-4 metres high. The format of each painting was the same - a group of people standing in a row, just like a school year photograph. While these paintings were impressive, I get bored easily when looking at paintings which are all, very much, the same.
Afterwards, we looked for the Begijnhof - an enclosed courtyard dating from the early 14th century. We found it with the assistance of a Lonely Planet guidebook and the interpretation of street signs. We had walked in a big circle before we found the entrance barely 20 metres away from the Civic Guard gallery that we had just walked through! But, it was closed. We found it at 11:30am, and learned that it was only open for inspection from 8am until 11am. Too bad.
Before lunch, we visited a Diamond factory for a short tour. We learned about how diamonds are cut and the characteristics by which they are valued (carat, clarity, colour and cut). It was funny how, at the end, we were offered some discounts on diamonds they had for sale. As each one was priced in the thousands of euros, they were somewhat out of our price range.
Anita and I met Karin in front of the Royal Palace (where else!) and she took us to a nice place for lunch. Unfortunately, she couldn’t join us for the afternoon activities because of the need to study for exams. It seems like there is always someone preparing for exams, over here!
As Anita and I walked to the Rijksmuseum, after lunch, we saw a lot of interesting things. The Anne Frank house had a huge line of people outside, waiting for admission. We found Amsterdam’s smallest art gallery which sold neat little prints depicting Amsterdam scenes.
Another of Anita’s friends joined us outside the Rijksmuseum. She had also been on an AIESEC traineeship in the Czech Republic.
Large parts of the Rijksmuseum were closed for renovation, but there was still a great deal to see. We got there at 3:30pm, giving us only 90 minutes to look around before closing time. That was clearly not enough time. I could have stayed there for half the day, to have a proper look at the exhibits.
Due to absent-mindedness, I spent all of the time on the ground floor. I missed the showcase paintings of the museum - Nightwatch (by Rembrandt) and a self-portrait by van Gogh. While that was a shame, I saw a completely renovated section on Dutch history. It was a treat. Anita spent most of her time here too, and she even made notes! There were many paintings and artefacts showing what life was like in historical Netherlands, including the Golden Age of the 1600s. There was a particularly interesting section about the VOC (The Dutch East Indies Company). While it was a company, it essentially had the powers of a state. For instance, it was able to declare war on behalf of the Dutch government, to protect its commercial interests.
We met up with Karin afterwards by the entrance of Vondelpark. This is a big park, about five minutes walk south of the Leidseplein, just beyond the city centre. We saw many performers and some of them were excellent. We enjoyed a performance by a very atheletic couple – it was an impressive amalgam of gymnastics and a mimed comic routine. I was amazed at how strong they were. The man would pick up the woman, spin her around his body. She would be sitting on his shoulders, and fall backwards into a handstand on the ground behind him. When the show concluded, we donated all of our loose change to show how much we liked the performance.
We sat down beside a lake and chilled out. We talked, listened, laughed and watched the ducks.
After dinner at a Nepalese restaurant near the Leidseplein, Anita, her friend and I went to the Bulldog café. As she was in Amsterdam, Anita was interested in sampling some marijuana. I wasn’t with them when they bought it, but it wasn’t from behind the bar. They had to see someone outside to get it. Of course, I took some photos of her smoking. The passage of time has proved that she deserved her “Most likely to be corrupted” award from AIESEC Auckland in 2001.
I got back to the train station, just before 11pm in time for the last train back to Tilburg. It had been a nice day.
To make up for my early start on Saturday, I had an extended Sunday sleep-in. Actually, I didn’t get out of bed until the afternoon! It was generally a lazy day. I did the housework for the first part, listening to CDs as I washed the dishes, did some laundry and the vacuuming. I later translated a few Dutch newspaper articles.
Fritz (a new AIESECer) had organised a barbeque at his place, starting at 6pm. I think most of the Tilburg AIESECers were still out of town, as only Lia and Steven were there. That was fine. In fact, there were as many trainees there as AIESECers! I had a good time. We messed with Moise’s mind by asking him existentialist questions, and posing logical paradoxes. I showed Maja my photos of Croatia. The food was excellent, and very well cooked by Fritz.
posted by James 10:47 am