I just received an e-mail from Katrijn in response to the e-mail that I sent her this morning. She claimed that she had shown everyone my original e-mail, and that I should not comment on things where I don’t know the whole story.
This made me angry because she earlier wrote (in a previous e-mail) “Not that I discussed it with everyone but a lot of people know I was pissed about an e-mail you sent. They don't know the exact content but still....”. (This is unaltered and there are no words, after “still”). So, I sent her a reply in which I pasted the contradictory extracts of both e-mails, I asked her to rethink her reply and send me something which made more sense.
After doing that, I went to the kitchen, paced around angrily and munched my way through two big apples.
Maybe my e-mail was an overreaction to hers, but I feel it was justified. Of course, I also realise that I am just adding more fuel to the bonfire.
posted by James 12:38 pm
My bike has acquired an additional skill. It is now a singing bike. It makes the same type of noise as a recently boiled kettle, screaming for attention. And, when you cycle faster, the sound becomes more frantic. I will put more effort into locating the cause this weekend.
From all accounts, someone was supposed to come around to the house, yesterday, and fix the dryer machine. No-one came around, but it turns out they didn’t have to. The dryer machine seems to have fixed itself. I guess it was overstressed and it decided to take a break for most of this week. I hope it enjoyed this break because I am going to give it lots of work this evening.
I was planning on talking to Katrijn, on Monday evening, about how I am not happy with the way she has dealt with the e-mail. I have been stewing over this. But, I decided that I just had to get it off my mind, and, instead, I sent her an e-mail this morning. From my understanding of things, she has just given other local committee members her commentary of the e-mail, rather than the original e-mail to read. I think that her interpretation is an overaction and would be biased. Therefore, it doesn't seem very fair. I will follow this up the next time I see her in person.
posted by James 9:38 am
Good gosh! It's 8pm and I am still at work! I have been spending the past hour composing an e-mail to send to the Tilburg AIESECers. I just sent it. It is an explanation of the e-mail that I sent on Monday. It is very long and detailed, so I hope they manage to get through it all. I also think it is "nicer" to read than the first one. I am looking forward to the feedback.
posted by James 7:56 pm
I have had a nice day at work today. Until 2pm, I was working on the finishing touches of the business plan. I had to incorporate some suggestions from Paul and work on the layout. It is surprising how so many little changes can accumulate.
I was asked to print out lots of copies of the business plan and the financials for the meeting with the client. I was also asked to attend. I was surprised because I felt that Paul may have thought that I wasn't ready for such a thing, and he didn't say anything about it the night before. I was pleased that I could meet the client and listen to them discussing the business plan. I furiously made notes and tried to learn as much as I could. There was a lot of stuff to get through in the two hours, so I figured that I shouldn't ask any questions. There is plenty of time for that over the next week.
The business plan has been given to the client and they will be going through it and suggesting some revisions. One of them will contact me next week, and we will work on the business plan together. I will also be given some work relating to other clients for a change.
"Let rain fall from concrete coloured skies" (Drive, Bic Runga). When I got to work, it was raining lightly - typical Dutch rain. An hour later, it was hailing at 45 degrees! Now the sky is a blanket of blue and it looks pretty warm outside. So, it seems New Zealand is not the only country where you may experience four seasons in one day.
posted by James 6:11 pm
Over the first part of this week, I appear to have honed my skill of annoying people without even trying. Both AIESEC and my boss have been angry with me this week.
Of course, AIESEC is still annoyed with me about the e-mail which I sent on Monday. At least Katrijn is. She keeps telling me. She also said that she has told many people in the local committee about it, and they are similarly “pissed off”.
That’s why I have decided to send an e-mail to the whole local committee to explain myself and the e-mail. I want to do this so I can tell my side of the story, and I suspect that most people have only heard Katrijn’s commentary on the e-mail (rather than reading the original e-mail itself). I asked Katrijn to send me the e-mail addresses of the local committee members and she kindly did. She probably thinks that I am going to send an apology e-mail but I intend to write more of a clarification than an apology.
I was going to write it yesterday, but I was busy at work until a really late hour. Also, I was angry with Katrijn about her method of dealing with the e-mail so I needed to calm down first.
My boss was annoyed with me last evening because I had been working on the wrong thing at work. Or more to the point, I hadn’t been working on something the way he had told me to.
On Monday, I learnt that my boss was meeting the client on Thursday, so I should have the next version of the business plan ready by Wednesday night. As I understood the instructions, I was to go through the plan in detail, update it and make a list of questions for the client about things that we couldn’t research using other means. I gave him updates about my progress each day and I was on track to have it finished on time.
It was Wednesday evening, when he asked me for my progress and he told me that I had been working the wrong way. Apparently, the meeting with the client the next day was very important and it wasn’t just about asking questions. He wanted to present the business plan complete with updated financials. He said that I should have been giving him my questions a few times a day so that he could ask the client over the phone. I said that there must have been a misunderstanding with his original instructions – he meant one thing, and I understood something different. He said that he had even written the instructions down on paper. I couldn’t remember this, so I asked him to show it to me. He muttered something about me challenging him, turned and walked back to his office.
After having a glass of water in the kitchen to calm down, I asked to have a chat with him. I figured I had to, because it isn’t helpful to have such a tense situation at work. The chat was successful in getting my boss out of his bad mood, but by the end of it I was still frustrated. He appeared unwilling to accept that he may have contributed to the misunderstanding about the work instructions. He said that I was stubborn. I was thinking the same thing about him. I told him that I didn’t understand his attitude about my checking my e-mail during a break. He didn’t see the parallel between reading the newspaper in the kitchen (which he is fine with) and reading one’s e-mail (which he dislikes). I have accepted that this is something that we are just not going to agree on.
So, I had to work on the business plan according to the revised instructions. I stayed at work until 9pm at which point I decided it was late enough for me and I wanted to catch the 9:09pm train. There were still a few things to tidy up in the plan, but I decided to put them off until today.
One person that I am getting along with is Marina, my housemate. She is writing a thesis. We often sit in the kitchen, chat and drink tea. She tells me about how her research is coming along and what’s happening at university. We have also talked about movies. On Monday, I saw “The Pianist” (very good) and she confirmed that it was the one movie that she wanted to see at the moment. I have also been explaining some cryptic crossword clues to her. She is curious. When I was cooking my dinner on Tuesday, she was studying a crossword that I had already completed, trying to understand how each clue worked. Her addiction to crosswords may be just a matter of time.
posted by James 9:24 am
On Monday morning, I finally posted a response to the question that Whiter had thoughtfully put up on aiesec.net. The question was in the “James in The Netherlands” forum of the “NEW ZEALAND - Outgoing and Incoming Trainees” community.
Whiter had asked me if I had any recommendations for how things could be improved “receptions-wise”, now that I was experiencing things from the “other” side of the exchange process, as a trainee. My response was lengthy (about two pages in Word) and it gave about seven recommendations for how a receptions process could be bettered. For some of them, I included examples from my traineeship experience.
The response was honest and it related my feelings about a number of matters. As I thought it would also be useful information for AIESEC Tilburg, I sent Katrijn a copy of the posting in an e-mail. What I sent her is exactly the same as what it up on aiesec.net. I warned her that she may see some of my comments as harsh, and if she wanted to discuss it with me, then I was available to do so.
I don’t think what I wrote was too harsh and I intended it to be read with an open mind. Of course, as I wrote it, my opinion about the nature of the response is somewhat biased.
Jasper and Katrijn organised to meet me on Tuesday night at Jasper’s place. We were going to have a discussion about the e-mail. I appreciated that because it meant that they wanted to deal with the issues raised in the e-mail promptly.
Katrijn told me that she was pissed off with the content of the e-mail and the way it was written. The e-mail had been discussed at an AIESEC meeting on Monday and people were reportedly shocked by it. Katrijn had interpreted the e-mail as a huge two-page complaint about AIESEC Tilburg. Jasper said that the e-mail was inappropriate because it was all negative feedback and it wasn’t the right way to encourage improvement. They were also worried about the impression it would give AIESEC Auckland about AIESEC Tilburg.
So, I let Katrijn vent her anger for about ten minutes. This was necessary because it gave me a better understanding of her feelings about the e-mail, and it let her calm down a bit. I listened to everything. This was difficult for me. I had to resist the urge to interrupt and argue my points. I felt myself shaking.
When it was my turn to talk, I made it clear that the e-mail was merely a list of suggestions for how the receptions process could be improved. I didn’t intend for the e-mail to imply that AIESEC Tilburg was a bad local committee. I clarified that I was really grateful for everything that they had done for me, for example, buying things for me from the supermarket when I had the flu and organising a bike for me. I know that they have done many things for me that they had no obligation to do.
I know that some of my recommendations related to things that I could not expect AIESEC Tilburg to have done. For instance, I didn’t expect them to organise a mobile phone for me. That’s a luxury. However, I live in a house that has no phone and no internet access. After experiencing this, I realised the importance of being able to communicate with others, and that’s why I made the suggestion about the mobile phone. My recommendation doesn’t even require the local committee to buy a mobile phone for the trainee (that’s clearly unreasonable). They would need only give information about how the trainee can organise one for himself. Recommendations like this concern things that the local committee can’t be disapproved of if they don’t do, yet if they did do them, then the receptions process would be improved.
Of course, no local committee is perfect. Yet, most AIESECers strive for improvement and constantly give their best effort. AIESEC Tilburg is full of such people. I hope that in the end they can see my e-mail for what it is, a list of suggestions, and take them into account in their aim to continuously improve.
I have learnt that when you are communicating with people that you haven’t known for very long, you need to be careful about how you express yourself. That was my mistake. The e-mail had been written too honestly and with not enough regard for how the people reading it would feel. It would have been upsetting for Tilburg AIESECers to read because the e-mail was about their local committee and it would be easy for them to interpret it as harsh criticism (as Katrijn did). (Those people from AIESEC Auckland who read it would be less likely to take a passionate approach, as it doesn’t directly involve them). Also, it may have been easy for the Tilburg AIESECers to read one of my recommendations, but seven of them in combination would understandably be more difficult to take.
When managing my feelings (e.g.: anger), I need to communicate more with the parties whom have contributed to my having these feelings. To date, I have been using my online diary as a substitute. This has been very effective, but perhaps it is not the ideal solution.
I hope that I haven’t alienated myself from the AIESECers here, because that would be a serious step backwards.
posted by James 9:19 am
Something that I miss about university is that you are assessed only on your outputs. If you are given an essay to write, the professor doesn’t care about how you wrote it, he/she is interested only in what you hand in. I am learning that in working life, you are frequently told how you should be doing things. The process itself is managed more. Although, it could just be something peculiar to my job.
This is a situation that I don’t enjoy. It’s frustrating. An example of it occurred yesterday when I was checking my e-mail during a break. As Paul was walking past, he glanced at my screen and called me aside to his office for a chat. He even closed the door. He then launched into a five-minute monologue about how I really shouldn’t be checking my e-mail during this time, none of the trainees before me did this, and perhaps I am not focused on the job. Yes, he actually took five minutes to say that stuff. I was sitting still the whole time, half listening, half just wishing he would finish making his point and stop talking. I explained how I like to work. I can manage maybe 30-40 minutes of work, then I need to do something completely different to refresh my mind. Sometimes, this will be checking my e-mail. He didn’t seem to understand. Instead, he said that I could have moved onto another type of work.
My point is that if I get the job done, then what does it matter how I do it? I don’t mind listening to advice about the process and taking it into account, but in the end, am I not the best judge of how I work best?
Later, during the same conversation, he asked me what work I was doing on the business plan. I said that I was going to discuss the plan with another colleague at work, and I told her to come down and see me about it whenever she was ready. After all, I would be at my desk almost all the time, and I could keep myself occupied with other types of work. Upon hearing this, Paul said that I wasn’t being proactive, and that I couldn’t just wait for people to come to me. Am I not being proactive in this case? It’s not like I’m not doing any work. The more I think about this, the less I understand what he’s going on about.
Gerard and I had a good complaining session about Paul, in the kitchen afterwards. It’s interesting that after these types of conversations with Paul, I am in no mood to work, so I am actually far less productive than if the conversation had never taken place.
posted by James 2:00 pm
All of the programs that I have on my computer at home are in Dutch. So, whenever I want to do any editing, I need to rely on my memory of how the various menus are set out. At least I will be acquiring a Dutch vocabulary of terms like “cut, copy and paste”. (That would be “knippen, kopieren en plakken”.)
I put some new wallpaper on the computer too. I chose a photo which I took while walking home from the busstop, during my last week in New Zealand. It shows the motorway footbridge that I would cross before walking another fifty metres to reach my house. In the foreground, you can see quite a few trees and areas of grass amongst the footpath. This contrasts with where I live now. My whole street is concrete, tarseal and brick. There is no grass. There are three trees outside my house, but they are still mere skeletons. They almost look as if they are growing directly out from the footpath.
On Saturday morning, I received another package from New Zealand. It contained chocolate, biscuits and an assortment of crosswords. The chocolate was literally broken up into each separate piece and the biscuits were munted. It makes me wonder what the post office was doing with my package. I hope that they weren’t using it as a hacky substitute.
Later, I attempted to use my basic Dutch in a commercial setting – buying a loaf of bread. It started off well enough. I rattled off the phrase, “melk brood, alstublieft” and the shop assistant collected my chosen loaf from the shelf. This is when things started to go wrong. He asked me a long question in Dutch which I presumed was something about whether I wanted the loaf to be sliced. I must have misinterpreted, because when I replied “nee”, he made moves to slice the loaf anyway! At that point, I panicked, reverted back to English and told him that I didn’t want the loaf sliced. The rest of the transaction was conducted in English. Shame. But, I guess the only way to improve is to keep testing my Dutch in these sorts of situations.
In the afternoon, I decided to go on a random bike ride. I hadn’t done one of those since my first week here. I took my camera along, but, in the end I only took one photo. (If I had been cycling with another person, I’m sure I would have taken more). First, I cycled to Wilhelmina Park. It is about a quarter of the size of Albert Park, and about five minutes away from my house. It strikes me as the sort of place that Daniel would embrace as a birthday party venue. There is adequate open space, a playground and a pond (although, I wouldn’t want to be thrown into it). I am already thinking of some ideas for silly games in the park, some of them involving bikes.
I headed off in a direction that I hadn’t explored much before – the south-east. After riding for about fifteen minutes, I came across a pleasant surprise. It was Leijpark, a place with a generous amount of open space, yet lots of tree lining the paths. It is paradise for recreational bike-riders and runners, alike. I estimate that it is twice the size of Albert Park.
After riding around for about ten minutes, an obvious idea struck me. If there were any place that I could practise cycling with no hands, then this was it. At first, I was apprehensive. I removed each hand so that it was about 20cm away from the handlebars. I had the same pose as someone telling another person to calm down. Each attempt followed a similar pattern. I would manage to cycle straight for about three seconds, then my path would turn into a wavy line which would become more exaggerated as time passed. At the same time, my bike would rock from side to side like a crazy metronome. I never fell over because my hands were a safe distance away from the handlebars. Although, there were some close calls.
Through more experimentation, I discovered that it became easier if you cycled faster. If things started to go wrong, I could easily recover as there was a lot of open space. It was good not having to worry about parked cars or other people. After another 20 minutes, I felt confident enough to try the manoeuvre with my arms folded. My best attempt was actually the first one where I maintained good balance for about four seconds (it’s longer than what it sounds like). Every other time I tried, I only survived for about two seconds before I had to pull out of it.
Sometime in the early hours of Sunday morning, the clocks went an hour forwards for the beginning of daylight savings time. This has made me aware of a very interesting phenomenon. Two weeks ago, Dutch time was 12 hours behind New Zealand time. Last week, it was only 11 hours behind. Today, it’s only 10 hours behind. So, using the genius of the inductive process, I predict that in 10 weeks, The Netherlands and New Zealand will be using the same time zone. Induction is so cool, especially when you use it creatively.
The dryer machine in our house is broken. (Perhaps this is due to the time phenomenon that I described in the last paragraph). Whatever the cause, we need to get it fixed. There looks to be a small backyard accessible from the downstairs flat, but I can’t see any clothesline. I am discounting the idea of stringing up a makeshift clothesline in my room. Apparently, we can’t ask the organisation that administers the rent to fix it because they had nothing to do with the dryer machine being installed. The owner of the building did that, and he/she is someone separate from the aforementioned organisation. This seems like one of those scenarios that you would role play at an AIESEC preparation session. Unless the machine fixes itself in the meantime, we will probably make some phone calls on Monday night.
In the afternoon, Kasia, Marina (my flatmates) and I biked to the flea market. It was inside an indoor stadium and there were about 50 long tables displaying the things for sale. It cost EUR 2.50 to get in. Despite there being “No smoking” signs all over the place, there were so many people puffing on cigarettes as they examined the stuff on the tables. There was, honestly, a cloud of smoke visible up by the ceiling. We stayed there for about an hour and a half, during which I looked around all of the tables. It was mostly antique stuff, but I managed to find a few bargains: a box of dominos (EUR 1), two Garfield comic books in Dutch (EUR 1.50), and the February 1999 edition of Dutch Playboy magazine (EUR 0.50). Yay.
posted by James 9:57 am