Typical. I thought I had timed everything perfectly so that I could catch the 7:09pm train. I just had to send one simple e-mail and that was it. Yet Microsoft Outlook decided to have some sort of internal failure and it refused to send my message. Of course, when I tried again at 7:12pm, everything worked as it should have.
"Counting the days on the calendar. Strange how they bleed into each other" (Counting the days, Bic Runga). I feel like my traineeship is moving along faster. This week hasn't felt very long, yet it is already Thursday night! It seems that the "hourglass" theory is accurate.
I have decided to be more structured with my time management. While studying at university, I would make lists of things to do each week. (A week is a good time period because you can put down goals that may take a few days to accomplish, yet are still manageable). I have started to do this here. I made a list of things that I need to get done for work, AIESEC related and other stuff. I wanted to find out some information about AIESEC Reception weekends, so I could do some long term planning about personal travel. I sent a few e-mails to Katrijn about it today, so I feel like I'm making some progress.
When sending an e-mail to Katrijn, I feel indifferent about last week's events. I thought that I would still be bitter about it, but I'm not feeling that way. Of course, I may still feel uncomfortable being around Katrijn or Sjoerd in person. E-mail has a way of depersonalising things.
I have noticed an annoying kitchen phenomenon. If there is a solitary spoon lying in the sink, and you turn the tap on, then the water will invariably hit the curved surface of the spoon and splash everywhere. The splash zone is bigger if you are wearing your work pants at the time.
posted by James 7:25 pm
I feel sorry for Levon (a work colleague). He has been given the task of photocopying 100 pages of reports, three times. We have a photocopier that can only copy one page at a time, and there is no feeder (so you can't unbind the report and let the photocopier automatically copy each page). I'm lucky. At least I can work on this spreadsheet and there is lots of scope to be creative.
posted by James 11:05 am
We had a powercut at my place, last night. It was just before midnight and I was typing a reply to an e-mail. When everything went dark, I lost the e-mail because, for some unknown reason, I hadn't saved it. Shame. Anyway, my room is not the place to be walking around when it is completely dark. I got into a "zombie" pose, felt for the door and located the shoulder-high crossbeam barricade by touch. Downstairs, everyone else was standing in the hallway. The only light was coming from the kitchen, as someone had lit one of the gas burners on the stove. Some candles were produced (thank you, Ania) and we had some more light.
With the help of the woman who lives donwstairs, we were able to find the cause of the problem in the fuse box and fix it. More accurately, I was standing there, and the woman fixed it. Kasia seems to understand what happened, so I'll ask her later.
We went back to the kitchen and checked out the dryer-machine. Yay! It was still working. On that good note, I retreated upstairs, listened to "Get some sleep" (Bic Runga) twice, and then did just that.
posted by James 9:40 am
Paul gave me a list of things to do today, including sending a copy of the business plan to another consultant for him to look over. He mentioned that this task was very important. I said that I would do that one first, but not until I had stirred some sugar into my tea. Hehe. Paul laughed all the way back to his office, turned and said, "I appreciate your dry British humour". Cool. This sets me up into a good mood for the rest of the morning.
posted by James 9:59 am
After dinner last night, I was killing some time before going into the city centre for AIESEC drinks. As I listened to a CD, I was playing the best game on my computer, Mijnenveger. This is more popularly known to the English-speaker as Minesweeper. I am really starting to like this game. My best times for the respective levels are “Beginner” (22 seconden), “Gevorderde” (124 seconden) and “Expert” (666 seconden).
When I arrived at the bar where Monday drinks are held, I was met by Moise (another AIESEC trainee). He had heard about what I had been through last week, from talking with Maja on Saturday. (This is fine with me. I don’t mind that she has talked to Moise about this. But, I would mind if she had gone to an AIESECer about our Friday night discussion). I confirmed the general timeline of what had happened. He confided that he was supportive of me and he would have acted similarly. This made me feel good.
Moise also made an interesting comment, "If you are concerned with being the best, then that's alright, but if you are concerned with being recognised as the best, then you are missing the point". This sums up Sjoerd in my mind, right now.
I also appreciate all of the supportive and constructive e-mails that I have received from my friends in New Zealand. Thank you very much.
Upstairs, AIESEC was having its elections for local committee president. Jasper was the only candidate standing. I only saw the last part. Sjoerd gave a short speech (in Dutch) and Jasper had cold water poured over his head. Hehe. So, there is a parallel between AIESEC in the Netherlands and AIESEC in New Zealand. Jasper was given a bottle of champagne, but fortunately (for us) he didn’t soak us with it.
When Katrijn came downstairs, I approached her and suggested that we have a small chat outside. I apologised to her, firstly for my careless e-mail on Friday, and secondly for my contribution to any communication misunderstandings we had last week. She replied that there were certainly some misunderstandings. She didn’t apologise for anything, though. I also saw Sjoerd downstairs a few times, and I am fairly certain that he saw me. But, he didn’t approach me to offer an apology either.
Some people have advised me not to have any expectations about AIESEC. That way you can never be disappointed. This was impossible for me to do. I honestly expected some sort of apology from those two people. I’m not going to pursue this issue though. I don’t think it’s worth the hassle.
I felt uncomfortable staying there, so I decided to just go home. It was only 10pm. I told Moise of my intentions, and he said that if I was going home, then he would too. (I’m not sure if he did, or not).
I saw Huimei (an AIESECer) outside. I like her and I think she could be a potential friend. She is organising a receptions event for Thursday night. I told her that I had decided not to go because I was trying not to spend too much money. I hated myself for doing that, because it was just a lie. My real reason for not wanting to go is that I may see some AIESECers that I just don’t feel comfortable around right now. Being dishonest has given me a bad feeling inside because it goes against my values. I might clear this up with a phone call later today. I haven't decided yet.
posted by James 9:21 am
For the most part of work today, I have been analysing the financial spreadsheet (for the business plan) with another colleague. It has been a good example of the difficulties of communicating with someone from another culture. Most often we had the same interpretation of a concept, or the same idea for a solution, but it would take a while for us to understand each other. For instance, I would suggest that we should use a compound interest formula in a certain part of the spreadsheet. He would disagree and then describe an "alternative" solution. Yet, the "alternative" solution was just the use of compound interest! I found the conversation very tiring. I suspect that he would have felt the same way too.
My bike doesn't sing any more. That's cool. The problem may have disappeared when, on Saturday, I let the bike fall to the ground, rather than rest it up against the wall.
posted by James 6:32 pm
After dinner on Friday, I borrowed Marina’s mobile and called Maja. I said that I wanted to meet up with her, so we could talk about AIESEC. I wanted to relate what has happened in the past week with someone who knows the people involved, but is not actually a member of the local committee.
I met her close to her place, and we both cycled to her building. Everyone there is an international student. There are about twenty people on her floor, and from what I observed, they are all great friends.
While it was quiet in the common area, we sat on the big couch, drank huge cups of tea, ate biscuits and complained about AIESEC. I knew I wasn’t going to solve any problems that night, I just wanted to vent my frustration. Maja had a few stories of her own about how AIESEC Tilburg has let her down. (Actually, the two main stories were about Katrijn). I don’t think she has told the local committee about these things, but after what I’ve been through this past week, I don’t blame her.
The whole building was having a party and Maja invited me to stay. The basement had been cleared of all of the bikes and decorations had been put up. I heard that EUR 400 of drinks had been bought and a bar was set up in one of the storage rooms. Bottles of beer were selling for EUR 0.50 each.
We stayed in the common area of Maja’s floor until about midnight, watching television and talking. Everyone from the floor was there. Many people were smoking and at least five of them were smoking marijuana. Each used a “bong” which trapped the smoke in a glass tube, before they inhaled it. One of them looked like a water bottle punctured with a metal tube. I didn’t try it because I don’t like smoking anything.
At the party downstairs, I didn’t know any of the people, but I had fun drinking and introducing myself. Later on in the night, a tall girl enlisted me in a spinning contest. (Whoa, AIESEC Auckland revisited!) I also participated in a drinking game which was similar to “Musical Instruments” but with cruder gestures.
Later still, there was some spontaneous pancake-making back on Maja’s floor. We watched music videos, ate pancakes and generally tried to stay awake. At 4am, I decided to call it a night, and cycle home.
On Friday evening, I had received some e-mails from AIESECers other than Katrijn. One from Sjoerd, the local committee president, was just a paragraph of solid invective. It listed many things that I did wrong, but didn’t give any information about what I could do differently, or fix things. I find the e-mail so beyond offensive that it’s funny. The last sentence is “I don’t know what you want to achieve with all this, but I suggest you’re going to stop it and act normal like you used to do”. I am so surprised that a local committee president would write an e-mail like that. Based on this e-mail and what Katrijn has told me, I feel the Sjoerd is interested in ONLY the reputation of the local committee. To be generous, the e-mail was probably sent in reaction to the harsh e-mail that I sent to Katrijn on Friday afternoon. (I admit, sending that last e-mail was foolish in the circumstances as all it could do was make people more annoyed). The second e-mail was from Steven. It contained a few points that I disagree with (for instance, he thought my “explanation” e-mail was supposed to be an apology, but it failed). Despite this, I appreciated it because it was constructive. It is the first e-mail I have received from a Tilburg AIESECer that actually gives some advice.
Actually, there was one sentence in Sjoerd’s e-mail that got me thinking. He wrote, “As you are so full of cultural exchange and diversity you could have understood that it’s not usual that we in the Netherlands solve our problems in such way you tried to do”. It has given me a different idea about why things have gone wrong over the past week. (I’m not sure how this different idea affects my learnings from last Tuesday). The problem could be that, without considering it, I have approached everything from a New Zealand cultural perspective. That’s why I believe everything that I did was appropriate (aside from the last e-mail to Katrijn). At the same time, the Tilburg AIESECers had been seeing things from a Dutch cultural perspective. From such a perspective, I assume that everything that I did was a mistake. Also, the AIESECer’s reactions and e-mails would be seen as appropriate and justified.
I had received similar advice from a few friends in New Zealand earlier in the week. I took it into account, but probably discounted it more than I should have.
If the analysis behind my different idea is correct, then the New Zealand cultural perspective is almost opposite to the Dutch cultural perspective. This is difficult for me to believe. With respect to what has happened, I see that the explanation of “different cultural perspective” does have some validity, but there must be more to it. What about the different perspectives of individual people? To put it another way, if I had sent that e-mail to a different group of Dutch people (assuming AIESEC membership), would their reaction have been the same, and would they have dealt with it in the same way?
When can something be explained as a cultural difference, and when is it better explained as a difference between two people? I suspect that when you are overseas, it is usually a combination of both.
Another suggestion that I have received (from my boss, actually) is that communicating via e-mail is a contributing factor. Talking on the phone or face to face leads to less misunderstanding. I think he has a point, but, then again, I also think my boss has something against e-mail, per se.
I feel that the best strategy, now, is to stop trying to explain myself, as each time I have done this recently, I have only annoyed people. I need to learn how to look at things from the Dutch culture perspective. I need to learn the “rules of the game”. (This is just like a preparation session that Wei Jian ran for us while I was back in Auckland).
On Saturday, I went for a bike ride past the University. I found a park called “Oude Warande”. It is in the shape of a square and it contains many long paths which intersect in the middle. I took a great picture looking down one of these paths protected by large trees, demonstrating the concept of “vanishing point”. I also tried to take a jumping picture, but this can be difficult when you’re by yourself and using an ordinary camera. I discovered that this is the place where people go running. That’s why I haven’t seen any runners on the roads – they are all at this place!
The next morning, I cycled around to Steven’s place to collect my new mobile phone and to reply to his e-mail in person. I was nervous about doing this because, as I wrote before, it seems to be getting me into more trouble. Nevertheless, I decided to risk it because Steven is one of the more open-minded people I know right now.
I went through his e-mail, replying to points where I felt that I had something useful to say or where I wanted something explained further. Where it was appropriate, I also asked him more general questions about the Dutch cultural perspective. I learnt that my original e-mail was seen by some as a breach of trust to the local committee. I should have talked about the content of the e-mail before I posted it on aiesec.net. I found out some more background information concerning the e-mails that Katrijn had sent to me. Apparently, when she sent the first one there were still people who had only heard about the e-mail (rather than reading it). But, by the time her other e-mail was sent (the one with the apparent contradiction) the original e-mail had been read by a lot more people. My later e-mails were also seen as a personal attack against Katrijn. So, I emphasised that my e-mails were not commenting on her as a person, but rather on things that she had done in the past week. I still think my e-mails were worded clearly enough, so there must be something about my e-mails being in English and them speaking English as a second language.
I learnt that the best way to give feedback is in person and as soon as you can after the event. This is superior because the the person’s reply to your feedback is more immediate, so you can rephrase things right away, if you need to. Perhaps, if I need to give feedback to the whole local committee I should attend one of their meetings and say something in front of the whole group.
Steven and I concluded that much of last week’s strife was caused by misunderstandings in communication on both sides. These misunderstandings resulted from different cultural perspectives, the use of e-mail and the AIESECers not speaking English as a native language. I really appreciated the discussion we had because it was calm, respectful and I think we learnt a lot from each other. I like this form of problem solving.
There is an AIESEC meeting on Monday, so I think Steven will talk with the other AIESECers about the discussion we had. I will apologise to Katrijn for my contribution to this mess. I would also like to receive apologies from her and Sjoerd because they have also contributed. (Although, maybe it’s better if I go to the Monday night drinks with no expectations).
In the afternoon, I went for a refreshing half hour run. I got a few looks and comments along the way. Chances are they have never seen a runner before because the other runners use that park. In Hasseltstraat (my home street), four girls were walking on the other side of the road and they yelled out something really long (in Dutch, of course). It could have been, “My gosh! You are such a fantastic runner with powerful, strong legs. May I have your autograph?”. But, more likely, I’m guessing it was a comment about my short shorts. Sigh.
posted by James 9:39 am